This is for Tina and any other interested readers.
I’ve been having incredibly vivid dreams every single night for the last month or so. In all of them I always have a loose tooth that eventually falls out, which of course happened last night.
AND THEN Tina and I had a sleepover. And while I slept SHE GAVE ME AN ENORMOUS TATTOO.
It started at the top of my arm with a Pokemon theme. It was a Blissey at the top and then further down there was a Gloom performing Petal Dance and some Ampharos-looking creature and several other Pokemon I can’t remember. Then farther down you could tell she was getting tired, so her work was sloppier. Somehow the tattoo started to meld into the tattoo I already have covering my left forearm. There were some sloppy-faced geisha girls and then (I shit you not) a list of sub-reddits that she liked. Then one of the Angry Birds characters then some Minecraft shit.
I was so pissed at the end because that’s stuff that I don’t even LIKE, plus the Pokemon weren’t even Pokemon that I liked that much. I tried to keep my cool at first but then I got really upset and Tina was crying and apologizing and I told her to leave.
So she gathered all her stuff really slowly out of my childhood bedroom (for some reason) and left. AND she fucking left jack-o-lantern carving shit all over my bedroom!
Then I put on my bathrobe and went downstairs to sit on the porch with my mom and dad and we talked for awhile about what had just happened.
And at the end I was like, “I’m pretty pissed right now but I’ll forgive her. I don’t want to lose her as a friend.”
So the lesson here, Tina, is that apparently you could tattoo some horrible shit onto my while I sleep and I would be pretty pissed at first but that’s not enough for me to terminate our friendship.