I deleted my reddit account and I will never be a part of that site again until they get control of the rampant misogyny, rape culture, and general sexism.
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Searching for costumes online really is just fucking depressing….and kind of hilarious because of how absurd the discrepancy is.
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"If a woman who has contributed as much to the culture, genre, and perception of gaming as Felicia Day can be dismissed as “a glorified booth babe” by someone who hasn’t even bothered to read her “portfolio,” then it’s safe to say that the problem is even worse on the ground for less well-known women who make their living in the industry, much less for female gamers themselves."
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Does anyone else ever get sick of explaining to people how sexism and misogyny still exist in our culture and why it is bad?
I feel like I reached a crazy-making breaking point tonight after a dude on Facebook told me that the Republican party is not in fact misogynistic or sexist in any way. He also attempted to insult me by insinuating that I had a women’s studies degree (which apparently in his world completely discredits you and your opinions.)
He keeps egging me on trying to get me to “debate” him, telling me how he’s going to “enlighten me” (all the while spelling every other word incorrectly including my NAME which is at the beginning of every comment I type!).
Usually I would spend the time lengthily destroying this fellow with overwhelming evidence, logic, and comprehension.
But what even is the point anymore?
He’ll just respond like they all do - by remarking on how I’m not in the kitchen, or how I’m a “feminazi”, or telling me to “calm down”.
I’m losing my will to fight.
Sometimes it’s very hard to be a part of this world.
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WORK PLACE ASSHOLE
Ok, so these two middle aged men who play racquetball just came sauntering up to the desk, which is near the bathrooms.
One of them (we’ll call him Douchley) was making fun of the other (we’ll call him Nicely) because Nicely was going to use the women’s bathroom, because there are only two bathrooms and one was occupied.
There is literally nothing different about these bathrooms on the inside. The only thing that distinguishes them from each other is the signs denoting gender on the outside. They are single-room unisex bathrooms for all intents and purposes.
So anyway Douchley was first calling this guy a fag and then he turns to me and says, “Hey, make fun of him when he comes out of the ladies room.”
And I said, “Why? Because he’s more secure in his sexuality and masculinity than you?” And then Douchley kind of chuckled and looked red in the face.
And then Nicely came out of the bathroom and was looking in his bag for his keys and Douchley says, “What’s the matter? Can’t find you TAMPON? You’re such a girl.”
And I looked at him with the steeliest glare I could muster and said, “Do you have a problem with women?”
And the dude just laughed and walked out and Nicely looked kind of ashamed and told me to have a good night and left behind Douchley.
I’m just so stunned that full grown adult men still act like this sometimes. Like honestly, would he go up to a person of color and make a crass race joke? Probably not. But he definitely thinks it’s okay to make demeaning, misogynistic jokes about women in front of me and just in general.
Ugh.
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Why Star Wars is secretly terrifying for women…
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"
From the way women are portrayed on reality shows, to how we condition boys and girls to see women, we have come to accept the idea that women are unbalanced, irrational individuals, especially in times of anger and frustration.
Just the other day, on a flight from San Francisco to Los Angeles, a flight attendant who had come to recognize me from my many trips asked me what I did for a living. When I told her that I write mainly about women, she immediately laughed and asked, “Oh, about how crazy we are?”
Her gut reaction to my work made me really depressed. While she made her response in jest, her question nonetheless makes visible a pattern of sexist commentary that travels through all facets of society on how men view women, which also greatly impacts how women may view themselves.
As far as I am concerned, the epidemic of gaslighting is part of the struggle against the obstacles of inequality that women constantly face. Acts of gaslighting steal their most powerful tool: their voice. This is something we do to women every day, in many different ways.
I don’t think this idea that women are “crazy,” is based in some sort of massive conspiracy. Rather, I believe it’s connected to the slow and steady drumbeat of women being undermined and dismissed, on a daily basis. And gaslighting is one of many reasons why we are dealing with this public construction of women as “crazy”
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THIS. And also, this guy. You should follow him if you don’t already.
They left out a step for the women:
Feel inferior/jealous because you think the other woman is prettier than you.
DON’T LIE. WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE.
I’m a guy.
Me too, apparently.
Yeah, I think I’m a guy, too…
The reason most of my friends are dudes
Omg, seriously you guys? Are we really STILL buying into bullshit like this?
I’m especially looking at all the women who reblogged this and said something to effect of, “This is why I’m not friends with girls.”
Are you shitting me right now? Do you even realize how internalized your sexism is?
I’m so fucking sick of these “jokes” about how women are all vain, catty, jealous bitches who hate each other. All they do is perpetuate sexist and misogynistic stereotypes that hold women down, and yes, even the women who laugh at them and say, “Totally! That’s why I’m only friends with men!”
Like seriously, why would you be okay with “jokes” that dehumanize you and uphold a social system that holds you down?
Women are NOT inherently like this. The world just tells us we are.
DON’T BUY INTO IT.
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Guys, when are we going to be done with all this internalized sexism?
I can’t stand “jokes” about how all women are catty, vain, irrational bitches who hate each other. They aren’t funny. They serve only to perpetuate sexist and misogynistic stereotypes that hold women down.
Can we please just stop?
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This is going to be rather choppy because I have to get to work. HOWEVER:
“The thing is you ARE encouraging him by using the phrase “winning”, you and thousands of other people. You’re trying to emulate a man by using his catch phrases, and that encourages him. You and people like you who are amused by him, who are watching his interviews, who are buying tickets to his tours, who are using his catch phrases ARE encouraging him.”
Not buying tickets to shows, not watching interviews, not following on twitter, not photoshopping me with charlie sheen enjoying the sunset together. Relax.
“Wow, victim blaming. God forbid you ever are in an abusive relationship and somebody tells you it’s your fault for not seeing the signs. If I enter a room with a known rapist do I deserve to get raped? Do I not deserve justice, sensitivity, and understanding if I am, just because I knew he was a rapist?”
I knew that would upset you when I wrote that. Of course you would take it the wrong way. Can YOU not tell that the man is a nutcase? Would YOU date him after seeing all of this bullshit in the media? I’d like to think you’re smarter than that. You are a mess. God not every woman is a fucking victim. EVERYONE gets victimized. You’re making it look like women are poor helpless creatures that suffer the most horrible circumstances because they are always the victim. They don’t put themselves in situations they can’t get out of, they just get lured into them. If you went into a room with a known rapist do you deserve to get raped?
DUMB question.
Answer:NO.
BUT the fact that you know you’re in the room with one might cause you to act differently, would you not?? Would you enter the room alone? Would you dress differently?
Yes, yes all women in abusive relationships that continue to stay in them are asking for it. Are you kidding me? Thats a sick idea if I’ve ever heard one. You really have a nice way of spinning peoples words around. Maybe you’re just better at taking things way too seriously. How was saying ‘cool your jets maannn’ offensive? This conversation is getting rather humorous considering it started because you got upset at a funny comment. There are feminists and there are crazy ass over the top man hating/world hating feminists who think that EVERYONE is out to get them, challenge and argue them. You don’t have to prove anything to me (someone you dont know) by saying I am a “woman-hating idiot” What good is that doing? Do you feel satisfied in saying such?.
So. Just so everyone knows, I’m not a woman-hating idiot. I’m not a man-hating idiot. I’m not an idiot. I think that Charlie Sheen is a dumb ass and don’t agree with what he’s done in the past (an continues to do). I don’t think that physical or verbal abuse is funny, or that anyone ‘deserves’ that.I condensed this for the sake of the readers, so if anyone wants the original context click here.
“Not buying tickets to shows, not watching interviews, not following on twitter, not photoshopping me with charlie sheen enjoying the sunset together. Relax.”
Please read more carefully. I did not say you were doing all of these things. I equated your use of his catch phrase to the many other ways in which people are enabling him (i.e. watching his interviews, going to his shows).
“I knew that would upset you when I wrote that. Of course you would take it the wrong way. Can YOU not tell that the man is a nutcase? Would YOU date him after seeing all of this bullshit in the media? I’d like to think you’re smarter than that. You are a mess. God not every woman is a fucking victim. EVERYONE gets victimized. You’re making it look like women are poor helpless creatures that suffer the most horrible circumstances because they are always the victim.”
How could I possibly take it the wrong way? You said specifically that the women who date Charlie Sheen put themselves in a position to be abused. While that in itself is a problem for me, the bigger problem here is that you imply that these women deserve the crime to be taken less seriously because they “put themselves in the situation”.
I understand that you’ve been pretty much bombarded by patriarchal culture since the moment your parents found out you were going to be girl. But try a little harder now.
Truth: I would not, assuming I had all the necessary evidence, be likely to date a known abuser of women. BUT that is beside the point entirely. It doesn’t matter if the man walked around screaming “I WILL HIT EVERY WOMAN THAT DATES ME”. That does not diminish the crime when he does end up abusing a woman. That doesn’t mean any woman who dates him and is abused should be treated any less than a victim of a violent crime.
I never said that all women were victims. I am saying that victims are victims, and that the perpetrators of this kind of violence shouldn’t be idolized, praised, and emulated.
And yes of course, EVERYONE can be a victim. Jesus, are you new here? Domestic abuse is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men against women and the roots of this behavior are almost always internalized misogyny. The internalized misogyny is cultivated by cultural figureheads like Charlie Sheen and his success in the public eye as a known abuser of women.
Women are not poor, helpless creatures but culturally we are made to believe that we are, and men are made to believe that we are too, which creates a cycle of violence based on the idea that women are weak, should submit, and are public property.
Just because you and I know that women are not poor, helpless creatures doesn’t make the cultural dictate that we are any less prevalent, and it doesn’t make women who are abused any less deserving of sensitivity and justice.
If you went into a room with a known rapist do you deserve to get raped?
DUMB question.
Answer:NO.
BUT the fact that you know you’re in the room with one might cause you to act differently, would you not?? Would you enter the room alone? Would you dress differently?Again, I feel like you’re having a hard time understanding this. It’s not about whether or not I would dress different or act differently if I was in a room with a known racist. It is about the social constructs that lead us to an argument wherein we discuss how I would act or dress in front of a rapist.
In this society we teach women how to not be victims, but we don’t teach men how to not be abusers.
The point here is that emulating and idolizing a man like Charlie Sheen and bolstering him in the public eye as some kind of warped celebrity is a part of what makes abuse/rape culture.
It’s not about what I would wear in the room with the rapist. It’s about whether or not the rapist was taught by society that it was okay to rape me.
“How was saying ‘cool your jets maannn’ offensive”
It’s offensive because it implies that I should calm down about something that is a big issue.
“This conversation is getting rather humorous considering it started because you got upset at a funny comment. There are feminists and there are crazy ass over the top man hating/world hating feminists who think that EVERYONE is out to get them, challenge and argue them.”
Your comment wasn’t funny. It was dismissive.
And now you’re moving to the oldest trick in the book. You don’t like my opinions, you don’t want to listen to reason or logic or examine your worldview, so you’re moving onto the old “FEMI-NAZI! MAN HATER! YOU’RE BEING OVERSENSITIVE/LIKE BEING OFFENDED/TAKE EVERYTHING TOO SERIOUSLY” argument, which is at least three different kinds of derailment.
It’s the last bastion of the misogynist, because it’s easier to call me a man-hating crazy person, then have to admit that your argument is based on misogyny and a non-understanding of your culture.
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I’m sorry, but no. Fuck you very much.
There are not enough people who are outraged by this criminal, drug-addled, maniac misogynist and the massive wealth and following he has gained by being nothing more than a criminal, drug-addled, maniac misogynist.
But he’s excused because he’s a white male who entertains droves of people (who are completely devoid of any actual sense of humor) with his antics. Boys will be boys, right?
Don’t tell me to cool my jets, don’t tell me to calm down, because most people are calm all the time. Most people don’t give a shit. Most people are like you, fucking prancing through life and telling people who actually stand for something to “cool their jets”.
And it’s people like me who DO give a shit about injustice, about misogyny, about sexism, about disgusting fucking cultural cancers like Charlie Sheen that actually keep the world from being a completely abhorrent place.
Fucking educate yourself. If you don’t understand what the problem is with fucking Charlie Sheen and the culture surrounding him then you’re not paying close enough attention.
Woah woah woah……woah.
‘fuck you very much’, great Lily Allen song, but you were just being rude and not referencing her at all. Now where did I ever say I wasn’t outraged by Charlie Sheen? Just because I was using the phrase ‘winning’? I’m not encouraging the man, I’m not following him on Twitter, so what’s the big deal?
Do I agree with his acts of violence towards women? Absolutely not! I feel horrible for the women that put themselves in a position to be abused by someone who is KNOWN for treating women horribly. Yes, I said they put themselves in the position to be abused, and it’s true. Maybe you should tell those women to ‘fucking educate themselves’ and they wouldn’t have locked themselves in the bathrooms of hotels, been abused or scared for their lives in the first place. I think you’d have to be fucking nuts to date Charlie Sheen and put up with all of his bullshit all the time. Clearly they’re doing it for money, because no one with a brain would do that because they actually think hes a decent guy. Unless you’re one of those girls that thinks that maybe they can change him for the better.
As far as the violence goes, I don’t think he’s excused of acting this way just because he’s a ‘white mail who entertains droves of people’. Trying to hint at me thinking that Charlie Sheen isn’t in the wrong with your sarcastic statement about ‘Boys will be boys’ is ridiculous. I think you’re preaching your opinion to the wrong person.
I do regret saying ‘cool your jets maannn’ because you didnt’ seem to catch the sarcasm whatsoever ..perhaps I should have used a winking emoticon? However, you went a little over board with your response, you didn’t need to act like I said:‘Fuck you, you’re wrong, Charlie Sheen is awesome and hilarious. He’s not in the wrong at all, and everyone should start acting like that. Its okay that he treats women the way he does because honestly, who gives a fuck? ALL HAIL CHARLIE SHEEN’
The problem with the internet is that some people do not take sarcasm very well because they can’t read that well into it. This, being an example.
For the record, I don’t ‘prance through life’ and tell people who believe in something to ‘cool their jets’…good god this is a ridiculous argument about Charlie fucking Sheen here. Plus, this little stunt he’s doing right now is all an act and everyone thats buying is getting taken for a ride.Wow, how many kinds of sexism and derailment did we have in this doozy? I’m just going to break some of this down for ya’ll (longneck’s responses in italics, mine in bold):
“Now where did I ever say I wasn’t outraged by Charlie Sheen? Just because I was using the phrase ‘winning’? I’m not encouraging the man, I’m not following him on Twitter, so what’s the big deal?”
The thing is you ARE encouraging him by using the phrase “winning”, you and thousands of other people. You’re trying to emulate a man by using his catch phrases, and that encourages him. You and people like you who are amused by him, who are watching his interviews, who are buying tickets to his tours, who are using his catch phrases ARE encouraging him.
“Do I agree with his acts of violence towards women? Absolutely not! I feel horrible for the women that put themselves in a position to be abused by someone who is KNOWN for treating women horribly. Yes, I said they put themselves in the position to be abused, and it’s true.”
Wow, victim blaming. God forbid you ever are in an abusive relationship and somebody tells you it’s your fault for not seeing the signs. If I enter a room with a known rapist do I deserve to get raped? Do I not deserve justice, sensitivity, and understanding if I am, just because I knew he was a rapist?
Women don’t put themselves in positions to be victimized, PEOPLE VICTIMIZE THEM. This just reeks of abuse and rape culture, and you’re a truly fucking disgusting human being if you think that people who are being abused, even by a known abuser, means that we should take the abuse less seriously.
“Clearly they’re doing it for money, because no one with a brain would do that because they actually think hes a decent guy.”
So at this point you’re basically just calling anyone who dates Charlie Sheen a dumb, gold-digging crazy person who deserved the violence perpetrated against them because I mean, c’mon they were dating a known abuser! They were begging to get hit!
I do regret saying ‘cool your jets maannn’ because you didnt’ seem to catch the sarcasm whatsoever ..perhaps I should have used a winking emoticon?
No, the winking emoticon wouldn’t have helped. And you obviously have no concept of sarcasm. You can’t just say something offensive, get called out on it, and then say, “Oh you didn’t get the joke. You didn’t get my ‘sarcasm’.” That’s not an argument, it serves no purpose in this conversation. It’s called derailment, and I suggest you read this article because you’ve used about 5 or 6 of these methods in your response.
“The problem with the internet is that some people do not take sarcasm very well because they can’t read that well into it. This, being an example.
For the record, I don’t ‘prance through life’ and tell people who believe in something to ‘cool their jets’…good god this is a ridiculous argument about Charlie fucking Sheen here. Plus, this little stunt he’s doing right now is all an act and everyone thats buying is getting taken for a ride.”Again, derailment. Google sarcasm, girl. Learn what it actually means. Everything offensive or dismissive does not qualify as sarcasm.
And again, more derailment here. ~Oh man oh man, it’s just the internet, it’s Charlie Sheen, I can’t believe you’re arguing about something so unimportant.
This is important. And like I said, it’s people like you that make people like me a valuable resource because I clearly understand why it is important, while you fight tooth and nail against logic and decency right alongside the patriarchy.
I would think a little bit harder before you speak next time, you woman-hating idiot.
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resta-con-me:todaywasafairytalex3:
OH FUCK THIS VERY MUCH.
This is just another branch of Special Snowflake syndrome, wherein girls hate on other girls or attempt to fit into specific guy fantasies/expectations in order to be “one of the boys”.
Every relationship is different. There isn’t one sect of women who subscribe to an all-nagging-all-the-time policy when it come’s to their partner’s video game playing and there isn’t another sect of special snowflake women who only live to root you on during you CoD sessions.
I would venture to say that if you’ve dated so many women in your lifetime who complain to you about your video game playing that you feel the need to make posts like this, then you probably play an excessive amount of video games to the detriment of your personal relationships.
Bottomline, the girlfriend who complains to you about your video game usage doesn’t represent all woman and is not a lesser woman or not a “real girlfriend”. And your fantasy woman who’s paying diligent attention to your game and cheering you on is more likely than not just a symptom of your male special snowflake syndrome.
As always, welcome to the patriarchy and thanks for playing.
